Big woman.

Hello there, all you feminists. Let me tell you one thing, it’s a bad time to be a woman. It will always be a bad time to be a woman, and , oh you suddenly agree to that? Well, hold your horses. Your being a feminist is only your ego lashing out, desperate to hold on to something that renders a woman even remotely respected. Notice how I said respectED and not respectABLE. Women are always respectable, but then deep down inside, we all know you(man and woman alike) don’t respect a woman. However much you want to scream at me right now, and well, remind me of the fact that I'm a woman too, the fact remains the same. Since you were a kid, you’ve been taught to disrespect ‘the female’, and by example no less. That girl in your grade who  you pushed around and bullied because you had a ‘crush’ on her, or well, simply. Your sister, whose plaits you’ve pulled since as long as you can remember, and then branded it sibling-affection. Your mother who you have manipulated into giving you extra money to have that canteen meal which your father refused to. Men have always found ways of disrespecting women, be it a teacher who has given you the gift of knowledge, or your mother who, well, bore you for 9 months, or that girl you saw drunk the other day on the road.

This, as has been repeatedly observed, everyone denies. “No, I’m not like other people you know, I have grown up with three sisters and I TOTAlly respect them” if you catch them on a normal day, you could often hear them say, “MAN did you LOOK at that ass. That shit is what I'm gonna tap one day. *hooting and grins*”.  Hitting a woman, as a matter of fact, is not as demeaning as ordering her to get your tea and then getting pissed off when she hasn’t mixed the sugar. Yes sir, open your eyes, this is a human being working, physically, as much as you are and emotionally, probably even more. Oh and that’s another thing. You're having a fight with your girlfriend and then you tell her, “hey I love you, just wait for a couple days. You’re PMSing , it will pass. Don’t worry.” 

Well while we are at it, I'm gonna take up the age old dilemma of gender disparity. A boy drinks, comes back to hostel with a couple smokes and his friends are like, “bhai, ab bohot ho gaya, stop smoking. Try toh kar.” Replace the boy with a girl and you hear, “dude, go to so and so room, you can smell smoke from outside. Her parents haven’t taught her anything or what?”, “ oh that girl? Yea yea, Ive seen her drunk a lot of times.” And a third one joins in,” oh yea man, I saw her making out with this guy the other day. What a slut.”. now this was an example of a woman’s reaction to their kind. All unicorns and rainbows. What about a man, you say? What does a man think? “dude she’s so badass, but naah, she’s not the kind of girl you date, you know because my girlfriend will be decent .. blah blah” and the works.

A woman will always remain a plaything to EVERY man on earth. She’s the one you will go to when you need comforting. She’s also the one you(straight men) will go to when you are horny. She is nothing but a device to you, a device you can appreciate from time to time, revel in its beauty or that new tube dress that accentuates her figure, but you will never consider her your equal. She has climbed mountains, smashed world records, won laureates, has patents. She has given birth to you, she has seen to your every demand, she has held your hand and sat by you when she had a cabinet full of work, she has tended to you with no complaints selflessly. And you won’t acknowledge it, why? Because , “I’m a man, I'm stronger and smarter than you, you can take care of the babies while I prove my masculinity to others by insulting and ordering you.” Even if you do, even if a woman sparks that inspiration and admiration in you, you say, “I like women on top*pun intended*. The alpha woman, who is the best among all” because why, it flatters your ego.

Basically, if you are a woman with ego, ambitions, emotions and natural human needs,

my sincere condolences.

My star, Little star

twinkle, little star.

do you wonder what you are?

a thousand miles, and inches apart,

your mind feels tangible by day,

lucid by night.

little steps to clarity,

your feet may take,

sluggishly the clarity slips away.

the wretched sun, over the brook,

the wretched rain, the wretched peace.

your dreams of calm, I snatch,

render you with pain, 

fecundate with chaos.

revel in the langour,

slowly eating away at you.

luxuria, gula, ira, invidia,

avaricia, acedia, superbia,

your seven comrades, 

shall never leave your side.

little star, find beauty in death,

in agony of brothers, 

in grieving sisters.

your mind performs le danse macabre,

flames shall lash against your skin,

burning with the wasted brilliance,

you once carried, 

burning with it, your wasted heart,

your wasted soul.

rest in peace, little star,

you will never wonder what you are.

We Are The (awkward)Champions.

yes, welcome to the Fraternity of The Socially Awkward. We are dorks, geeks, nerds, all in different combinations. we like to crack jokes because, well that's all we know. to other people, it is all so exotic, because, "oh look! its him!, we're in for some entertainment." or "oh look! its her!, she's so weird!" or ,"oh look! he just dropped a fork!". we suck at expressing ourselves so we dramatize everything (*whispers* yesss, like that) so that numskulls don't get SHIT of what we are saying.

and while it may seem so deliciously attractive to people(seriously what is UP with your taste), it is more of a handicap sometimes. when I walk out of my house to but milk, it is a FUCKING nightmare, because I'll meet GAzillions of people who know my mom(so im obliged to make small talk), dad(so im obliged to make small talk), grandma from Netherlands(so im obliged to make small talk) and people who say hi for absolutely no fucking reason. so i'm going to give you a crash course right here on how to behave around us inept people.

1. If you see us with earphones, PLEASE, take hint and do NOT make eye contact or talk, because frankly, some people just have earphones plugged in JUST so that, well, they can avoid all the blabber about how you haven't started for sessionals, and how you watched that movie where a kangaroo died and brought about an avalanche.

2. We break out into monologues from lord of the rings, or Pirates of the Caribbean or, Harry Potter or well, simply from our own special cocktails of grey matter. So please, judge if you want or just fuck off but do NOT interrupt or ask where it is from. That kind of beats the whole point.

3. If we can't relate to you when your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't drop a line for two days, doesn't mean we are heartless. My heart wept when dobby died, and when natheniel frees bartimaeus and sacrifices himself? my faith in humanity was restored for 3 seconds right there.

4. If we're scared of monsters in the dark, its not because we're sissies(well there ARE other reasons that validate the sissy behaviour), it is because you're too ignorant to acknowledge the presence of a karanadon somewhere in a corner, or well, right in your face( you would probably be in his face by now, literally).

so please, don't try to talk to us, if you do, please make sure its about ANYTHING that doesn't concern your sorry self.

may your swords stay sharp, and your tongues even sharper.
*three finger salute*

The section-I chronicles

Our first encounter with the ‘THING’ was right in the first Sem itself during a particular English lecture when ‘IT’ was compared to a plane. Yes, people, This Is It. This was the revolutionary means of war which would later break friendships, cause bloodshed and wreak havoc.

This is PAPERBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the memories that, I'm sure, every single one of us will carry with them is of the EPIC paper ball fights in our class. With teachers, without teachers, during lectures or otherwise, it just doesn’t seem to matter to us. Believe it or not, every living soul in the class, at one point or the other, was involved in it. Some brave offending, some defend, some hermit-like back benchers take to watching, some poor little souls (usually on the aisle side) get caught in the cross fires (not mentioning that much like myself, some have aiming capabilities worse than a 3 month-old), some bold warmongers who’d target the bald pate of a very specific teacher and then the whole class would scream “LOVISH NE KIYA!!”.

Alliances were formed, ammunition was collected (which usually came from the neighbor’s notebook because why use our own when we have the sweet little oblivious neighbor) , guns were loaded, and Sparta-like bloodthirstiness was in the air. But among all of this, there was a feeling of kinship among us. How we’d unite against the teacher in not listening, how as one paper ball was flung around the room there was a mutual understanding among eighty-four students that the war has been waged. This was the point of no-return when rows would stock up on ammo, sometimes hitting each other with it( just to check the quality of ammo of-course).

In a class of 84 people it is not possible that groups not be formed, every class has that. But what every class doesn’t have is that when all these groups are together, we are as ONE. Groups, then don’t matter, everybody hangs out with everyone and has fun. My reaction when I entered the class and its numerous introductions in every lecture was that “bah, I'm stuck here for another year.” but now? The year has gone so fast, just yesterday we had our class party, and our field trips, and our constant lamenting about extra classes, our boo-ing the teacher when she over stayed her lecture by a minute, our united standing up to teachers picking on particular students.

Now I'm not very good at mushy good-byes, and misty eyed promises of meeting up in later future, but here I am openly wishing that I hope in the coming years, when we walk past each other we nod with a mad glint in the eye of so many ‘insider’ jokes. Thank you all, for giving me the perfect first year, I made some very VERY good friends here and I shall remember every single one of you(yes I, now, know everybody’s name finally!!!).  I love you all and may you have the brightest future there is. All the best.

The white, The blue, the shapeless, The True

When water weaves itself like sultry waves,

Nature, the seamstress, leaves no boundaries,

Like a perfect satin fabric slipping over a shapely hip,

It flows into oblivion of the sleeping sea,

With a hem, the eye cannot fathom.

Limitless water flows from under our feet,

Changes form here, becomes tangible there,

Ever indecisive , gives itself over to you.

Moonlight dances on ripples and twists on currents,

Paints the perfect picture of solitude.

Like a maiden sitting on a rock, with a satin gown,

And flowing hair like night,

Coalesces with nature and brings you home,

Open your heart, open your eyes,

let it course through you,

leave in its wake, a pure heart, a pure mind.

Subtilités de la conduite sociale

Yes, here I'm going to finely relate to you, the atrociously annoying rules of social conduct. No, don't scroll away just yet. I'm going to tell you what all you should avoid doing when among a large number of educated social individuals.
1. Do NOT look at your drink all the time.
   Or your shoes for that matter, or admire the fine lines on your fingers. It gives others the idea that you're       nervous or occupied or troubled, when you just simply don't give a fuck and all you're doing is mentally compiling the "101 ways for the other person to SHUT THE FUCK UP."
2. Don't sleep on the dinner table.
   Apparently its insulting to the cook (looks like the host is not at all concerned about your comfort). You could sleep with your eyes open or excuse yourself to the washroom and sleep there.
3. Don't comment about the wallpaint when the other person is talking. The person talking usually takes it to heart when you don't stare at their stupid faces and ooo and aahh from time to time(they think they're important to you if you do that. Poor little delusional people)
4. Don't EVER be sarcastic, funny or even REMOTELY logical. Yes, this is one of the most important points. Normal people do not appreciate interesting, humorous conversation. Just be plain and dry and VOILA!! you're a hit.
5. Last but not the least, Do NOT, in ANY circumstances, excuse yourself from the party(really, that's what people call a highly boring gathering of dim-witted, old, 'apparently sophisticated' people, who think drinking Bourbon on the rocks is THE coolest thing they can ever do). Just leave without being noticed, otherwise the host party shall coax you into spending another meaningless, hellish hour in their company.

So, take my advice, either feign ignorance or pretend you never got the invitation (this will also give an upper hand as you later torture the person for 'not' inviting you when you were so looking forward to it) or pretend that you're too above all these parties and you prefer the kingdom of The Lone Ranger, or simply just chill and hope you don't get invited.

I mean, seriously, who are you kidding you scrawny little loser, nobody is inviting you anywhere. Hurrah!!

Rain.

The rain poured down,

Like sheets of nectar,

My parched skin, my parched throat,

Sent heavenly thanks.

My lord showered upon me,

I sang with love,

Danced with devotion.

The smell, like a thousand flowers,

In my mother’s locks,

Like the incense she lit.

Filled my senses, intoxicated.

The drops in my eyes,

Changed my vision, and I saw the light.

Bursting out of every orb,

Every drop I’ve seen,

Made me pure,

Made me strong, made me weak.

That was the shine I craved,

The diamonds and pearls

The silver and the gold,

Nothing but raw nature.